Spiritual Captivity

Here’s the UUA Staff Chapel service I gave on February 7, 2006.

Chalice Lighting

Blessed is the match consumed in kindling flame.
Blessed is the flame that burns in the heart’s secret places.
Blessed is the heart with strength to stop its beating for honor’s sake.
Blessed is the match consumed in kindling flame.

—Hannah Senesh

Responsive Reading

Worship in Song #592 “The Free Mind”

Sharing of Joys and Concerns

Hymn

Worship in Song #20 “Be Thou My Vision”

Reading

From “Tending the Fire,” a keynote address to the Midwinter Gathering of Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns by Ellen Hodge:

In this culture that we live in, we don’t very often allow ourselves to be connected to our ancestors in a conscious manner. I think that that is one of the things that leads to the spirit of Yankee do-it-yourselfism that gives us the sense that we can sustain ourselves, by golly, and we don’t need any help and the people of the past, well, they weren’t as developed as we are so, what do we need from them? And thus we are a rootless, migrating, technological people who don’t have a really good sense of who we are, of what past has shaped us, and of what we might become.

Well, I want to tell you a story. This is an ancient story that has survived for thousands of years and has come down to us from our ancestors. I have a sense that anything that survived that long because generation after generation saw meaning in it is something worth talking about. . . .

Now when the story begins, there’s this small, not very powerful people. There’s a famine, so they move to the great nation, which has a lot of food. This small people had a very wise leader who was recognized for his ability to advise and who understood trends and could sometimes even tell the leader of the great nation what was going to happen and what the leader needed to do to prepare.

So this small people lived quite contentedly in the midst of the powerful nation. But then that generation died, another generation came up, and generations passed until the king that grew up in the great nation never knew that there had been a wise man among that small people. . . .

So he looked around and he said, . . . “Well, you know, I don’t see why we should have to do all that work. Hmm, look at this: this alien population. Why, it wouldn’t matter much if they did it.” So he made himself some slaves.

Meditation

Sermon: Spiritual Captivity

One of the strengths, and weaknesses, of my Quaker faith is looking for the spiritual meaning of stories, the metaphor, the archetype, the lesson to apply to one’s own life. It is in that context that I want to look at this religious story of captivity and liberation: not to dismiss or discount the evil and violence of enslavement and oppression, but to assert that stories like this must be read not as objective history but as subjective accounts of a people’s relationship to the divine mystery. And not only these archetypal religious stories, but also the mythologized stories of our history, and the unspoken stories that shape our cultures, and the stories of our families.

It is perhaps my favorite act of syncretism to celebrate Pesach, Passover. My love for Passover started in 1989, when my friend Ellen Hodge retold the story of the enslavement and deliverance of the Israelites as part of a keynote address to a gathering of the organization then known as Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. She retold how Pharaoh tried to get the Hebrew midwives to practice genocide; how Moses became the adopted son of Pharaoh’s daughter, killed an Egyptian overseer, fled Egypt, encountered the “God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob,” and returned to Egypt to free his people.

She retold how, after plagues, “each one worse than the one before,” Pharaoh lets the Hebrews leave; how they escape across the sea of reeds; how they wander, complaining, in the wilderness; and how God says, “I’m gonna give you all this little list. It’s a pretty short list. It’s just your basic guidelines, how these people are going to get along. OK? There are no Egyptians making up laws for them, so I’m going to give you some teachings.”

She retold how the forty years in the wilderness reshaped the Hebrews from slaves into a free people; and how they came to stand on the brink of the promised land, where Moses retold their whole story for them and instructed them to remember their story. I wish I could just read her retelling to you, she’s that good a storyteller.

And then Ellen said,

This story can mean a number of things, and there are things about it that I can’t tell you; you could better tell me:

Whether this band of people in this room tonight, is in bondage.

Or whether this band of people is standing, shoeless, in front of a strange fire, getting instructions which are not pleasant.

Whether this band of people is living in the wilderness and having a damn hard time.

Whether this group of people is on the brink of the promised land.

Ellen did what you do at a Passover seder: she retold the story, and she reminded us to put ourselves into it.

Not only were they in bondage, I’ve been in bondage.

Not only were they inspired, I’ve been inspired.

Not only have they been lost and wandering, I’ve been lost and wandering.

Not only were they delivered, I was delivered.

Furthermore, I may still be in bondage, or still lost and wandering. The Passover story focuses on the deliverance, and helps us inhabit that story. I think we can learn a lot by inhabiting the stories of captivity as well, because the reality is that we are often in bondage rather than free.

As a simple, non-religious example, take the story of the Zero Sum Game. In a game of chess, only one person can win. (Of course, it’s possible to draw, but I’m certainly not a good enough chess player for that to be part of my picture.) So the Zero Sum Game is an accurate enough model for chess. The problem is that this win/lose model is all too often the model we learn for how to exist with other people in all sorts of situations: grading on a curve; being concerned that desserts are divided equally; giving out raises.

We might learn win/lose so deeply that we apply it to our personal relationships, or to our spiritual lives: If that myth/story/theology/practice is affirmed, then mine is going to be less affirmed. When we do this, we have become captives of the Zero Sum Game. One of the aspirations of Unitarian Universalism seems to me to be to escape this religious zero sum game and to honor a variety of religious sources.

Or look at being part of a traditionally marginalized group: We often learn to internalize our oppression. When that happens, we’ve allowed someone else’s story, someone else’s version of reality, to confine us, to limit us. When I first came out as a gay man, and many times since, I’ve been on a journey from captivity to freedom. Being in captivity is real—even when it’s a captivity of the mind or spirit rather thanof the body.

So what can we learn from the archetypal stories of captivity? Let’s go back to the Hebrews in Egypt. You remember why they were there in the first place, right? There was famine, and Jacob and his family went to Egypt to get food. At the invitation of Jacob’s son Joseph, who had come to have high office with the Egyptians, they remained in Egypt.

First way to accept captivity: in order to save your lives, to protect your family. There are still places in this country where it is dangerous to come out of the closet. The vast majority of the world is an unsafe place for gay and lesbian people. The closet is a survival mechanism.

A new king arose over Egypt who did not know Joseph. And he said to his people, “Look, the Israelite people are much too numerous for us. Let us deal shrewdly with them, so that they may not increase; otherwise in the event of war they may join our enemies in fighting against us. . . . So they set taskmasters over them to oppress them with forced labor. . . .

—Exodus 1:8–11 (JPS)

Second way to become enslaved: allow your neighbors to forget your shared history; neglect your relationship with your neighbors. To stay with the story of gay people: Once you come out, you have to keep coming out, or your neighbors will put you back in. We’re seeing the attempt right here in Massachusetts with marriage.

But let’s step back a little farther in the story. We’ll find something surprising and confusing:

Genesis 41 is part of the story of Joseph (and this is the Joseph of the many-colored coat with the doting father and jealous brothers, but we won’t go that far back in the story today, but we will go back before any of the rest of Jacob’s family has come to Egypt), anyway, Joseph interpreted dreams that Pharaoh had about seven fat cows and seven lean cows who ate the seven fat cows. Because he interpreted the dreams, Joseph is made chancellor and he stockpiles food for seven years against the famine. When the famine comes, he rations out food to the Egyptians. Through a complicated story of family reunion worthy of a soap opera, he is reunited with his father and brothers, who move to Egypt. Now here’s the twist:

Now there was no bread in all the world, for the famine was very severe; both the land of Egypt and the land of Canaan languished because of the famine. Joseph gathered in all the money that was to be found in the land of Egypt and in the land of Canaan, as payment for the rations that were being procured, and Joseph brought the money into Pharaoh’s palace.

—Genesis 47: 13–14 (JPS)

The next year, when the money’s all gone, Joseph takes “all their livestock” in exchange for food. And the year after that, they came to him and said:

“We cannot hide from my lord that, with all the money and animal stocks consigned to my lord, nothing is left at my lord’s disposal save our persons and our farmland. Let us not perish before your eyes, both we and our land. Take us and our land in exchange for bread, and we with our land will be serfs to Pharaoh; provide the seed, that we may live and not die, and that the land may not become a waste.”

So Joseph gained possession of all the farm land of Egypt for Pharaoh, every Egyptian having sold his field because the famine was too much for them; thus the land passed over to Pharaoh. And he removed the population town by town, from one end of Egypt’s border to the other. . . .

And they said, “You have saved our lives! We are grateful to my lord, and we shall be serfs to Pharaoh.”

—Genesis 47:18–21, 25 (JPS)

So we’re back at the first way to become enslaved: self-preservation. But look who did it: Joseph created the agrarian policies that paved the way for the enslavement of his descendents.

Wow.

I haven’t figured out what the lesson there is, or a clever parallel for gay people. But that’s why I want us all to dwell deeply in these and other archetypal stories—eventually one of us will decipher the lesson, the situation to avoid or to improve upon.

And we need to enhabit all the parts of the story: When have I been Joseph, planting the seeds of evil? When have I been Pharaoh, hardening my heart? When have I been like the Israelites, pining for the familiarity of Egypt and complaining about the demands of freedom? And when have I been Moses, stuttering and resisting, but eventually giving in to the inspired drive to bring my people to freedom?

Closing Hymn

Worship in Song #104 “When Israel Was in Egypt Land”

Closing Words

There is a land of pure delight, where saints immortal reign.
Infinite day excludes the night, and pleasures banish pain.
Sweet fields beyond the swelling flood, stand dressed in living green,
So to the Jews old Canaan stood, while Jordan rolled between.

O could we make our doubts remove, those gloomy doubts that rise,
And see the Canaan that we love with unbeclouded eyes.
Could we but climb where Moses stood, and view the landscape o’er,
Not Jordan’s stream, nor death’s cold flood should fright us from the shore.

—William Billings, 1786, words to the shapenote tune “Jordan” by Isaac Watts

Knitting Retreat at Woolman Hill

In a previous post I described the knitting retreat I’m leading at Woolman Hill Nov. 4–6. (You can download a flyer with registration form there.)

I don’t have a very firm plan yet, but it will probably go something like this:

Friday evening:

  • collecting ourselves in the present with some silence
  • invite people to take out their knitting (if they haven’t already)
  • introduce myself and the retreat center, outline my plan for the weekend
  • ask each person to tell us what they like to be called and share one thing they hope for from the weekend (I’ll encourage people to go slowly around the circle, giving space between each person’s speaking to really hear what they share. This is pretty standard Quaker technique, and I expect to encourage it throughout the weekend unless it turns out not to sit well with the participants. I will have some discernment time after the session to consider any adjustments to the schedule based on people’s hopes.)

Saturday morning session 1 (optional, 1/2 hour, no knitting):

  • brief introduction to Quaker worship<
  • Quaker worship

Saturday morning session 2 (knitting and conversation):

  • as we knit, go around the cirlcle and tell what we’re working on
  • break
  • show and tell our resources, ask for help on any knitting problems we’re trying to solve

Saturday afternoon session (knitting in silence):

  • ask people to knit together in silence for a period of time (I’ll need to get a feel for how people feel about silence in order to decide how long. 1/2 hour to an hour.)
  • break
  • discussion about what it was like to knit together in silence (probably encourage them not to knit; perhaps split them into small groups)

Free time Saturday afternoon

Saturday evening (sharing our knitting):

  • ask people to reflect and share on what about knitting is (or isn’t) spiritual for them
  • break
  • ?? encourage people to seek out one or two others they’d like to talk with and move chairs into small groups
  • ?? closing silence or epilogue (prepared reflection, maybe a song)

Sunday morning: meeting for worship (optional) 1 hour

Sunday morning session (knitting together, content tbd)

Knitting retreat

I’d like everyone who reads my blog to know about this retreat I’m leading in November. It’s open to anyone who wants a knitting retreat. You don’t have to be a Quaker to come.

HANDWORK/HEARTWORK
A Weekend Knitting Retreat
November 4–6, 2005

We’ll have time for uninterrupted periods of knitting, both with conversation and in silence, as well as time for worship, individual retreat, and recreation. The fields and woods of Woolman Hill’s lovely 19th-century farmstead will be open to our use. While not providing knitting instruction, this retreat will provide a setting for sharing stories, techniques, and problem-solving ideas. All skill-levels are welcome. Participants should bring a current project (or projects); journals, sketchbooks, and other devotional materials; books and resources to share. Crochet, spinning, or other handwork that fits in your lap is welcome.

I’m a long-time knitter and crocheter. A member of Beacon Hill Friends Meeting in Boston, I am an experienced workshop and retreat leader. I works as an editor for the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations.

For registration information see this flyer (pdf)
or Woolman Hill New England Quaker Center

Quakerism and Unitarian Universalism

Liberal Quakerism and Unitarian Universalism are certainly comfortable fellow-travelers. Today I had an opportunity to compare them in a structured way. The Unitarian Universalist Association (where I work) has a newcomers bulletin board, where visitors can post questions and have them answered by staff. Today this came into my email (edited, of course, for privacy):

> Kenneth,
>
> Would you be willing to reply to this question?  The response will be
> posted on the Newcomer’s Bulletin Board at
> http://www.uua.org/newcomers/newcomerbb.html, which I maintain.  If you
> don’t want to respond, that’s fine.  Just write back to me with either
> your response or a note with any suggestions you may have.  Thanks!
>
> ‑Erika

> Subject: Newcomer BB Post: how do UUs differ from liberal Quakers?
>
> name: Bess
>
> citystate: NSW (Australia)
>
> questionself: How do UU differ from liberal Quakers?
>

And here’s my reply (which I don’t make any assumptions will be used as a public answer–it seems a bit Quaker-centric, an answer to “how do liberal Quakers differ from UUs):

You’re in luck! There happens to be a liberal Quaker on staff, albeit an American. Quakers in Australia, of course, may answer differently, as will the majority of Friends in the world who are not “liberal” Quakers but rather evangelical or orthodox.

I’ll base my answer on the Principles and Sources used by the Unitarian Universalist Association, with a UU statement followed by an RSF (Religious Society of Friends) commentary.

UU “We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and promote“
RSF Quaker meetings exist as part of the Religious Society, rather than the Society being a product of a voluntary association. There is no creed nor is there a unified statement that meetings have negotiated and agreed to affirm and promote.

UU “The inherent worth and dignity of every person“
RSF Liberal Quakers say “there is that of God in every person.”

UU “Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations“
RSF Quakers would agree.

UU “Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations“
RSF Again, Quakers would tend to agree, but the spectrum of acceptable belief in Quakerism includes many more Christians and theists and far fewer atheists.

UU “A free and responsible search for truth and meaning“
RSF Integrity is a core Quaker value, which affirms the need for individual searching, but this is understood in tension with a tradition of capital‑T Truth as discerned by the community of Friends.

UU “The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large“
RSF Quakers value the right of conscience (for example, in advocating for the right to conscientious objection to military service or to paying taxes for military purposes) but do not advocate the use of a democratic voting process within the meeting. One of the distinctive Quaker practices is decision-making based upon the sense of the meeting, which is an attempt to discern God’s will for the meeting. While sense of the meeting should include everyone, it does not depend upon unanimity. It is certainly not determined by voting.

UU “The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all“
RSF Quakers heartily concur.

UU “Respect for the interdependent web of all existence, of which we are a part“
RSF Liberal Quakers have over the last decade or two begun to emphasize environmental concerns as a corporate and individual witness.

UU “The living tradition which we share draws from many sources“
RSF The Quaker tradition has been influenced by several outside movements, notably the Wesleyan revival, modernism, humanism, the antiwar and social justice movements, and the New Age, but does not intentionally and corporately draw from “many sources.”

UU “Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life“
RSF Quaker theology and practice is built upon faith in direct, unmediated experience of the divine.

UU “Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love“
RSF Liberal Friends are quite similar both in drawing inspiration from prophetic individuals and in tending to worship our ancestors.

UU “Wisdom from the world’s religions which inspire us in our ethical and spiritual life“
RSF Many, if not most, liberal Quakers draw inspiration from the world’s religions, but this is a recent addition to the historic focus on a Quaker understanding of Christianity.

UU “Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God’s love by loving our neighbors as ourselves“
RSF Quakers would agree.

UU “Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit“
RSF There are and have been many Quaker scientists who have not seen any conflict between spirituality and “reason and the results of science.” Even when not Christians, liberal Friends are much less likely than UUs to be atheists.

UU “Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature“
RSF While paganism has influenced some individuals and plays a part in their spiritual life and practice, it is not called upon as a source for corporate Quaker life.

There is also a significant difference in the understanding and practice of ministry, which isn’t revealed in the Principles and Sources:

UU The majority of UU churches and fellowships employ a minister or ministers who lead the worship service and deliver a sermon. Even lay-led congregations follow an order of service that includes rituals like a chalice lighting, readings, congregational singing, and a prepared message or sermon. UU ministers, as described elsewhere on this website, undergo academic preparation resulting in an M.Div. degree, professional training, an internship, and a denominational process leading to ministerial fellowship. UU ministers are ordained by a congregation.

RSF Liberal Quakers worship on the basis of shared waiting for divine guidance. Anyone present may feel a leading to share a short message, a prayer, or a song. There is no human leadership of the worship service. Even in meetings that recognize the ministry of individual Friends, there is no ordination and no requirement (among liberal Friends) for academic qualification.

How (and when) then shall we die?

There’s a great panel over at Barclay Press — Conversation Cafe: How (and when) then shall we die?. What these Friends say strengthens my commitment to conversations across the Quaker landscape and my conviction that we are all really Friends. The Evangelical/Fundamentalist interpretation of sexual ethics held by Evangelical Friends often makes me want to lump them in with Southern Baptists and their ilk. But then I’m reminded by something like this, or by their peace witness, or by their understanding of ministry, that our common religious heritage does actually exert some common influence.

Quaker despair

Martin at Quaker Ranter is feeling the burden of the work: Youth Ministry, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting Style:

So why not just admit that the yearly meeting is irrelevant to younger Friends? Why not turn our meetinghouses into retirement homes?

PS: How I wish I weren’t so cynical about the yearly meeting.

I left an equally heartfelt, but I fear somewhat less than helpful, comment:

I wish you weren’t so cynical, too. I’m sorry each time I read of your difficulties, Martin. I share your concerns about the narrow age range of most of those in Quaker leadership and wonder about the reasons. I agree that often there is explicit ageism as well as implicit indifference or lack of imagination. On the other hand, I’m also often mystified as to why our experiences have been so different.

I came to Friends when I was 26 (in 1986). I was single and not particularly consumed with making any particular kind of life or career; I was ultimately available. I joined meeting (Central Philadelphia) within months of first attending, I was so certain I belonged. I took advantage of every opportunity for involvement and service. I worked for Friends for the better part of the next 15 years.

And I found many opportunities. I was often given opportunities specifically because of my age. Sometimes I had to press for what I believed was right for me. (I refused appointment to Peace and Social Concerns Committee; I think I was approached because I was an out gay man. I told them I had come to Friends not out of social concerns but out of spiritual ones. I wasn’t immediately appointed to Overseers, as it was then called, but I was the next year. I also served on Worship and Ministry, which I clerked while in my early 30s.)

Chance put some opportunities in my way. I transfered my membership for a time to the meeting in Camden, New Jersey, which had a tiny resident population. I spoke up about something at business meeting and wound up appointed to Representative Meeting (now Interim Meeting), which was unlikely to have happened at CPMM. I left work early once a month in order to go. By the time I left Interim Meeting some ten years later, it began its meetings after dinner, although still on a weeknight. The range of age and economic situation of the members had radically changed. I was clerk of Interim Meeting at 38, having already served as recording clerk, as well as having previously served as one of the recording clerks of yearly meeting.

At Central Philadelphia my ministry was soundly supported. I was young, and I was relatively new to the meeting. But I was a member, not an attender. My experience of CPMM was that membership was considered to make a decisive difference. (CPMM is one of the few meetings I know that has gone through an in-depth process to figure out just what membership does mean.)

I don’t want to go on about what I’ve done. I don’t think of myself as an unusual person. But it wasn’t much of a struggle for me to be usefully involved with Friends even at a leadership level, although I did have to give up some things and make some sacrifices. I had the liberty of job flexibility and no children.

I began thinking and teaching about eldering in my early 30s and constantly had to tell people eldering wasn’t about age (how many foolish old people do you know?). But on the other hand, I do have to admit that my ministry situates me among a relatively small group of Friends. Perhaps I shouldn’t try to draw any conclusions from my experience. I wish I could figure out if there’s anything about my experience that could help others feel more at home or more effective. I’m ever mindful of the fact that I am NOT young, even if I am among the youngest in a group.

All through this life, there have been some things that may be clues: I enjoy getting to know and working with people of all ages; I’m willing to submit to community discernment and needs; I’m accustomed to working within the status quo even while changing it; I’m passionately committed to learning from and building upon the past; I’m a good politician; I consciously try to be patient; I’m generally cheerful.

If yearly meeting is in session, then the star magnolias in the courtyard must be in bloom and perhaps there are even bulbs blooming in the lawns. Here in Boston it’s notable just to see snowdrops in bloom.

A Quaker in the Zendo

Steve Smith. Pendle Hill Pamphlet 370. The juxtaposition of the pamphlet’s title reflects both Steve’s life and the text. Steve describes his journey from birthright Quakerism to the zendo in very personal terms, but most of the pamphlet is a deep meditation on Quakerism and the wisdom of early Friends. Apropos of a conversation over on Beppeblog (sparked by Joe’s review of another very good PHP, Members One of Another), here’s what Steve Smith has to say about discipline:

Books of Quaker Faith and Practice are traditionally called Books of Discipline, another word I had passed over too readily. In an age of instant gratification and comfort, “discipline” often rings merely of punishment for wrongdoing, with no resonance of the straitening pleasures of self-transcendence through submission to an exacting regime. Significant accomplishment in most walks of life requires a paradoxical combination of strenuous application and surrender of self-will. In challenging educational endeavors, in high-level athletic performance, in skilled artistic expression and elsewhere, I recognized a demanding path to excellence, even when I was loath to walk onit. But in spiritual matters I favored an easier, more comfortable route, sitting myself each week in meeting for worship and hoping that without any risk or commitment, lightening would strike.

I look forward to rereading this. Steve unpacks some familiar Quaker quotes in a way that is very helpful to me in my own spiritual work.